Worth the Weight…

There has never been a time when I have been ashamed of my husband. In fact, I always find myself smiling with pride as I watch his determination to score a major comeback from a life setback.

But even though I am incredibly proud of him, I still haven’t gotten completely comfortable with the questioning looks, secret thoughts and sometimes bold remarks that I get when people find out that my husband is in prison.

Initially, I felt like I had to defend him; to explain his entire life story and help people to understand that “he really is an amazing man.” {Well….he is an amazing man….but I don’t feel the need to prove it to anyone anymore.}

Most recently, when I shared with an individual that my husband was in prison, I was asked “What makes you feel that you should put your life on hold while you wait for him?”

I’ll be honest, at first I was about to suit up in my gladiator attire and step into the ring for this question. But I am oh so glad that I didn’t.

Instead, I took a moment to process the question and to find the words to fully covey that contrary to their obvious assumption, I am not a miserable woman who is waiting my life away. Instead, my love choices are deliberate and full of rewards.

And all of a sudden “It” finally came to me. “It” being the answer that I can confidently give as to why I am a “prison wife.”

The first thing that I clarified for the individual is that BY NO MEANS am I “just sitting around waiting” for my husband. Of course, I can’t wait for him to be on this side of the walls. However, in the meantime I live a full, active, peaceful and joyous life; that includes family, fun, fellowship and future goals!

Second, I shared with them that the commitment that my husband and I have made is to live everyday on purpose and to strive to accomplish the very things that we were destined to do IN SPITE OF our current situation. We fully believe that our story will be used to help someone else along the way…and in order for that to happen we must successfully make it to the end of each test.

Finally, I confirmed for this person that THIS JOURNEY IS DEFINITELY NOT EASY. There are so many WEIGHTS that come along with WAITING for your loved one’s release from prison. There is the weight of being separated; the weight of parenting in this circumstance and the weight of finances that must be balanced….just to name a few.

But one thing that I AM ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CERTAIN ABOUT…..the benefits of experiencing an unselfish love far outweigh every one of those weights! In fact, when I start to sort through everything (both good and bad); and when I look at the indescribable gift that I have been given in the form of my husband…I can boldly say….that every part of this journey is WORTH THE WEIGHT!